The Jaime Starling Blog

For this Halloween, Night of the Living Will!

2011-10-30T16:33:00.001-07:00

A few weeks ago there was a horrible incident that left my Great-Uncle Gary, age 75, brain-dead but on life-support in Arizona. I’d go on about details but it will begin my angry ranting over elderly abuse, especially our gay elderly and the outdated laws regarding definitions of ‘family.’

Gary’s next-of-kin situation was complicated and resulted in my grandfather having to drive from Missouri to Arizona to ‘pull the plug’ on his baby brother. Apparently there are still arguments over doing so and that is just not something one wants added to grieving. Wisely, my grandparents updated their health care directives before leaving for such a stressful trip.

Just before this I learned on the same day of two deaths: my dear friend Dante’s mother Estelita, a gorgeous woman who was very loving to me, and my colleague Jeanne, who was only 30 when she died of diabetes complications. This brought back memories of my friend and former coworker Kevin, who died in his sleep a month before his wedding, and David Thompson, founder of Busted Flush, a client who several of you know. Rory Root, founder of Comic Relief in Berkeley, died during surgery and it broke the hearts of many.

With all these deaths happening to friends and family, young and old over the last few years, this prompted me to plan my own living will as I’m way up and over in Minnesota with my nearest relatives in Missouri and the rest in California and Nevada. Anything could happen to me and though I’m comfortable with the idea of dying, I’m NOT comfortable with leaving a mess for my loved ones to clean up when they should be just glad I’m at peace.

At least I was lucky in timing: Minneapolis Community Education had a class in planning one’s own Health Care Directive just this last week. The instructor was a registered nurse who helped explain any medical questions just in case, and then since there were enough students to sign as witnesses, we just passed our forms around and completed them. But a note on the students: I was the youngest by probably 20 years and the instructor claims to have never had a male student in the class despite their greater risks.

Taking the class was very easy and I wished I had had the chance to take 'Avoiding Probate and Preserving Assets' this season but hopefully it will be on offer in Spring.

If you’re in Minnesota, the form is reasonably easy and doesn’t require a notary. You can find it here at http://www.accukare.com/Docs_PDF/Accukare_HealthCareDirectiveForm.pdf

Part II can be tricky but the best part about these forms is that you can always make changes and then initial and date: http://besthomecaremn.com/yahoo_site_admin1/assets/docs/Health_Care_Instructions_Worksheet.66182617.pdf

For those of you in other states and nations, search online for ‘Health Care Directive Form’ and avoid anything that might ask for money (unless it’s a nonprofit organization asking for a donation). You shouldn’t have to be charged for a form! And your town very likely has a class like mine did so for a few bucks and fewer hours you can be done with it.

Please, be sure to talk to the ones you want to be your agents about this form. Don’t surprise them when you’re in hospital, please! I’m guilty of it, however, as my agent is my brother and, um, he’s probably reading about it here...

Macy & Vinnie at Yesterday's Party

2011-10-23T10:37:00.000-07:00

Pirate vs Roman Soldier!

Drunk charioteer!
Hot Dog Down!
Hot Dog Back in the Game!

He doesn't know it's a chair!

Polka on Cassette!
I Wanna Go Home!
Everybody Just Sod Off!

Toddler One-Two Punch

2011-09-29T09:58:00.000-07:00

It's been a rough week for my mother's side of the family with a wedding and (most likely, sadly) a funeral on each coast making for tough decisions all around. I'll not go into details...yet.

Meanwhile, to cheer us all up, I've uploaded this video of mine in which two of my nephews enjoy watching themselves in the mirror whilst having a 'fight.' I'm too lazy to edit and I pretty much love every second of this video so sorry if you get bored in between the blows!

Another Day at the MN State Fair!

2011-09-05T19:07:00.000-07:00

I returned to the Minnesota State Fair once again only this time with four others! This meant that I actually walked through the Midway, which isn't my thing, being a bad sport and everything. I felt bad for all the people winning these odd banana toys.

And then, 'Et tu, Domo-Kun?!?!'

Thankfully Japanophiles could enjoy this gorgeous birdhouse in the Creative Arts Building, my favorite part of the fair where I take pictures of everything I hope to pirate!

Except this, of course. It's amazing! Tinker-toys and a lot of patience to match the creativity.

I was very excited to notice this adorable Dalek from (I believe) Glass Endeavors.

And you KNOW who wears this scarf!

In the Fine Arts Building I saw this painting and immediately thought of SIL Monica, a big Hayao Miyazaki fan.

And the whole world can relate to this sculpture. May it unite us in peace!

I know what you really want to see, that's right, the seed art!

This one is very Minnesotan:

I'm always impressed by the Left Wing bent of seed art here. I just assumed it would be the opposite.

QR codes made their debut this year. I've been cross-stitching them, so I suppose it makes sense.

And look, the royal wedding! Awwww... I didn't watch it but the corgis were a clue.

This one has me scratching my head:

Today following a Twins game and a long nap I got online and read in The Advocate "Glitter Bombs Away at Minnesota (Un)Fair" and the following video clip.

I'm still surprised I hadn't heard of this BEFORE the fair, and it happened the day I was there! Good on you, glitter bombers, and boo on you, fair runners. I hope the story makes the rounds and points out how foolish it was to offer a booth to people who hate.

My Life, My Dreams, Nothing's Gonna Stop Me Now...

2011-09-02T18:15:00.000-07:00

Last weekend I went with buddy Michelle to Chicago!

She wanted to visit her brother and his family so we split a getaway package trip thingy. We stayed in the Swissotel where I annoyed everyone with my search for Nazi Gold.

I didn't find any, but I did find one of my clients with her wife at the hotel bar! This client works across the street from me in Minneapolis. Geesh, we could've met at Donnie Dirks and saved some ozone...

Their baby was safe upstairs, but Michelle's toddler nephew was in my crazy Auntie Jaime clutches. You can tell he's a toddler by the scab. All toddlers faceplant concrete before family visits. It's a fact.

We ate at a place called Tank Noodle that was excellent. I ordered 'Baby Pho' which was 'only' the size of a regular cereal bowl. Smart move so I could finish off this red snapper! Smile, Snappy!

We went to Millennium Park and walked off a bunch of fine dining. Here's the famous Bean:

And here's me flicking it:

And Michelle flicking it to make me shut the hell up about it:

Later at the Lego store Michelle found herself a cowboy. Silly girl, you go WEST for one, not EAST!

Maybe Chicago could be my next town to live in that's in the Midwest. I could get a job although my writing and train-driving skills are terrible.

I could get this fixer-upper although apparently you gotta know the right people (working on it).

Or I could build on this vacant lot we found.

And I wouldn't be at a loss for a good time.

Shoot, I even got a new friend to sing with me!

This would lead me closer to fulfilling a life-long dream, and you KNOW what that is: to recreate the Perfect Strangers intro shot for shot!

Now as the Mayor of Chicago might say, fuck off!

National Night Out 2011

2011-08-22T18:18:00.000-07:00

This summer has been hot. So hot that I had to disconnect most of the electronics and move them to a lower floor in the house, including this computer.

At the beginning of this month (somewhat more forgiving than July) was the annual National Night Out in which Minneapolis is usually the biggest participant. We close off our block to traffic, pull up some chairs, and serve potluck.

I love film, but digital cameras can be put in a kid's hands and come back full of fun photos. I let a number of little girls on the street run around shooting with my camera, hopefully catching an early photography bug. There were many portraits, but here I'm just posting the distant, blurred, etc. so that you see my neighbors enjoying each others' company whilst maintaining a little of their privacy on this blog of mine.

I learned this morning that over the weekend, just a dozen blocks away from my house, a 14 year-old boy was found dead from gun violence. His makeshift memorial was then burned down by vandals.

Maybe we can do National Night Out a little more often than just annual, to close a few streets from traffic, lure out the grownups with some potluck, and let the kids play with dogs and bikes. It's cost-effective and might buy us another night for someone.

Vacation, Time to Get Away...

2011-07-06T16:57:00.001-07:00

I've been in Northern California visiting family and friends!

I don't yet have parental permission to post pictures of my three nephews, so I illustrated some of our adventures, just in case.

Andrew showed us how he can fit into a front pocket on my giant suitcase:

We drove around in the mini-van:

We ate yummy meals at the kitchen counter in the new house:

We went to a lake and harassed ducks and geese:

We played in a new inflatable pool that was 10 feet x 4 feet (note: must get one for myself):

And played in the mud until their Daddy got the hose!

Go The Fuck to Sleep!

2011-06-09T13:02:00.000-07:00

Last month for a case of retro Dr Pepper I made this 'Pillowcase Slipcase' as a joke for Akashic.

Swarm!

2011-05-01T13:06:00.000-07:00

I'm good at taking loads of photos when I go out and do something, but crap at adding them to this here blog. So let's try to catch up with the most recent and work our way backwards, shall we?

Last weekend Heather won some free tickets to the final regular season lacrosse match for the Minnesota Swarm. They play at Excel Center in St. Paul, to which I joked, 'I have to go all the way to St. Paul?!?'

How was watching professional lacrosse? Super-fun! It was family-friendly but that didn't stop me from enjoying it. To see kids all excited about their team, holding the free posters and begging parents for souvenirs had me all nostalgic for acting the same way at Dodger Stadium and of course when at home and seeing the Visalia Oaks play, only a few feet from where I'd be sitting. Which reminds me, there might be at least three remaining Minnesotans out here that don't know I met Kirby Puckett as a kid. It's what I say before I say, 'Hi.'

So, let's get on with it: Swarm footage!

By the time you probably read this you'll have missed the finals and what-not, so here, mark your calendars, etc. to get a ticket for next season: http://www.mnswarm.com

'Getting shot, in a way, was my fault'

2011-04-24T19:01:00.000-07:00

I was sitting in the Denver airport for my connection flight from San Diego to Minneapolis when I turned to a sample noir story from Indian Country Noir in my Sony Reader that I use for work. I always think of Western states at the mention of Indians so I was pleasantly reminded that Native Americans are on the East Coast, including some of my ancestors (duh!). Joseph Bruchac's 'The Helper' takes place near Albany, NN in the mid-1930s. This guy, a WWI vet, named the shrapnel in his body his 'helper' that twinges when something is amiss. And is it ever! His childhood sounds worse than serving in WWI, so you know he's a tough dude, and thank goodness for that!

Wild Turkey on Broadway (MPLS)

2011-04-19T09:25:00.000-07:00

This little lady was messing with my commute this morning as she was trying to cross the bridge portion of Broadway. We've been watching her outside the office today as she safely made it to the parking lot. It's funny how such wild turkey sitings have become more common within city limits. I think she's too big for the young bald eagle that's roosting up here on the Mississippi, and Kirby the Kestrel at Target Field is too famous and probably too well-fed now that baseball season is back!

'New York had all but emptied over the last year.'

2011-04-06T18:09:00.000-07:00

I was reading The Dewey Decimal System during ALA Midwinter in San Diego, so this full novel noir is apt! You know, librarians! At the time it was a galley but it's out now.

Some years after a terrorist attack on New York City (no, not that one), a man who was messed with at Walter Reed is an assassin with some serious OCD. Granted, it seems to be useful in keeping alive, perhaps a sort of Bushido code only he calls it 'The System.' He's got a gig with a city government official who keeps him in medicine, and he lives in the main branch of the New York Public Library, using his free time putting the books back in order, earning him the name Dewey Decimal.

Readers who love NYC will like this book best with the clever portrayal of near-future dystopia looking back on when times were good -- you know, 2010. Eek.

Actual librarians might be disappointed that he isn't sorting books much, but he is sorting out some mysteries! Get it? Get it? All the action, gunplay, and puzzling back-stabbing is excellent for readers who like things moving fast. Plus, it reminds me of Preparedness Now, a sort of survivalist guide for the rest of us (it is part of a series of books that have had recent sales boosts from the threat of radiation reaching North America from Japan). In fact, I even pictured its author, Aton Edwards as Dewey, only scrawny from years of homelessness. Sorry, Mr. Edwards! You can see him on a clip of 'The Today Show.'

Fun fact about Dewey Decimal System author (& musician if you're thinking his name is really familiar) Nathan Larson: he's married to the lead singer of The Cardigans who an ex-boyfriend of mine was crazy about, a bit to my annoyance. Gee, I was silly!

We Bleed for 5 Days and Still Don't Die, 007

2011-03-08T17:27:00.000-08:00

Yes, I really love this video made by Daniel Craig and Judi Dench. Please watch!

Fantastic Plastic Lovers

2011-02-10T16:53:00.000-08:00

So Saturday I was trying to think of a Halloween costume that would keep me warm enough to enjoy the holiday in Minneapolis. Yes, I was thinking of Halloween in February, shut up! One of my ideas was to be a Playmobile lady, getting a sort of helmet set up for the head and then sew big enough clothes to wear over thicker layers and boots.

Then yesterday I see this advert on the TV...

...and then today I see this brilliant shot-by-shot reenactment of Joy Division's performance on 'Something Else' that even has a Playmobile Tony Wilson! '24 Hour Party People' is one of my favorite films.

I'd have said it's a sign, but by the end of October people will just say, 'Seen it!'

Sigh.

"I can hardly keep my wits about me as I await my inheritance."

2011-01-04T19:07:00.000-08:00

I pulled By Hook or By Crook off the stack of noir collections and on the contents page saw one by Mary Higgins Clark. My 12-13-14-year-old self turned to it right away. I would scour yard sales (I'm a miser; always been) for her books and practically inhale them in the car on the way home.

'The Tell-Tale Purr' has the kind of person I don't understand: The Heir. I've never been keen on the idea of inheritance really, and though friends and family have benefitted (all surprises, or so I've been told), I can't imagine someone looking forward to getting something out of the death of someone. So this heir apparent has reached middle age whilst grandma is aiming for 100, puts in an elevator, and about to add a personal gym to the house. Her cat phobia is key to her heir's plan, but she's got her own secret!

"Times are bad, could have been a terrorist car, how do we know?"

2011-01-03T16:02:00.000-08:00

Usually parking is pretty easy for me in the Twin Cities area but the crazy number of storms have dumped so much snow that there have been A LOT of parking restrictions. Even so, it's easier than when I had a car in San Francisco, so I thought this title was good while looking for another short story. Delhi's gonna have some parking issues if it's even a tiny bit like Mumbai where I saw that nearly every nook and cranny was someone's home. Public parking is prime real estate and despite it being owned by the municipality, it still gets fought over by people who live next to it. So when I picked up Delhi Noir, I chose this tale.

In "Parking," by Ruchir Joshi, Sam's girlfriend has a favorite spot…and one for her car. The neighbor says the parking spot is "his" so when corrupt cops get involved, Sam calls in his own government connections. A war continues over a tiny stretch of street, and you KNOW it's happening somewhere in your town, too.

"You're the only one I feel safe drinking with at noon."

2011-01-02T14:34:00.000-08:00

Another birthday! This time one of my cousins. I fondly remember the pair of us watching the summer X Games in 2001 and nearly crying at a guy's perfect score for rollerblading in a half-pipe or something like that. I'm serious! So I thought I'd find a title that had a bit of the extreme sound, back when that stuff was the most extreme until, oh, the following month of September.

This collection, Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine Presents Fifty Years of Crime and Suspense has notes before each tale. The note says that this particular story was later adapted into an episode of McMillan and Wife called 'Freefall to Terror.' Brilliant! The note also says the author, Edward D. Hoch, wrote a story that was the final episode of The Alfred Hitchcock Hour, 'Off Season' that you can watch online. I've been watching Alfred Hitchcock Presents so I'm quite excited to move on to his other programs.

"A Long Way Down" has the head of security trying to figure out the death of the guy who hired him. You'll appreciate the office atmosphere if you're a fan of Mad Men but if you just want the mystery, well, it simply takes a few hours for the body to hit the ground from the 21st floor, right?…Right?

“I climbed off the co-ed and pulled my tentacle out of her nose.”

2011-01-01T16:51:00.000-08:00

I'm going to try reading a noir short story and discuss it on a regular basis. We'll see how long it lasts...

So the inaugural story is because of my dad. His birthday is today and he hates the well-wishing one gets for it. My brother and I call with just a “Happy New Year, Dad, I'm calling for NO other reason.” He's not keen on the getting older thing, so I pulled a tale out of Damn Near Dead 2, a collection of geezer noir from Busted Flush Press, child of the late David Thompson. Coincidentally David once sent a business email from his phone but the predictive text had him sign it as “Dad” so I teased him since he was only a few years older than me.

So I then chose a story with a title that might draw my dad's attention, “Zypho the Tentacled Brainsucker from Outer Space vs. The Mob” by Tom Piccirilli. This sounded very sci-fi and we Starlings are suckers for the sci-fi. It also had “brainsucker” in the title which screamed my mom's family tradition of putting our hands on each others' heads, moving our fingers like spider legs, and saying it's a “brainsucker.” Sometimes, as an insult, the brainsucker dies of starvation on someone's head.

The protagonist is an East Coaster stuck in the Hollywood that wasn't his California Dreamin'. His screenplay is now so bastardized that he's playing a tentacled monster in his own home. This made me laugh because it was more fitting for my dad if there had been more technical description of the video equipment as he's a videographer! Plus I'm happy to report that the small number of friends who are in Hollywood are actually making it (Phew!). So yes, the mob arrives and they want, yeah, money. What's a guy from Brooklyn stuck in a rubber monster suit to do?

This story gave me a vocabulary lesson: “C-note.” It's a $100 bill. How the hell would I know? I've been using credit cards since high school...

Some Needle-Nerdwork I Did

2010-12-26T14:56:00.000-08:00

I've been wearing bandages on my left hand for the last three weeks with one more to go to see if my wrist gets any better. It has been so boring to not do anything! Thankfully I'm back to typing with two hands if only for a short bit of time.

So, back when I had full use of two hands and all 10 fingers, I did some cross-stitch using the same technique as the project I made for my brother. Mainly, figure out what I want to do, find images online that suited my purpose, map it out on graph paper, then create the pattern on a spreadsheet.

This one was for coworker Heather who was having a birthday do on the day of the 'land hurricane' in the Midwest. She loves both Magritte and Super Mario Brothers, so I knew of shirts, etc. combining the two:

A little after this the coffee shop in my office building changed their menu above the counter. I regularly check their Twitter feed for soup of the day, so I thought I could add something to increase their followers:

Snowmageddon Late-2010!

2010-12-12T13:28:00.000-08:00

You'll have seen the Metrodome deflating by now so here are some shots from my house, including MORE video of Macy trying to go out for a wee!

A Tale of Two Brewery Tours

2010-08-24T18:42:00.000-07:00

I used to work in a pub, a proper English pub in England that was part of Youngs Brewery. Sadly I was a kinda-broke and incredibly busy graduate student who never made it to the brewery tour there.

But I've been on a brewery tour in Minnesota!

Many weeks ago my buddy Michelle (pictured below) got us spots on the Surly Brewery Tour. Surly is a young brewery based in Brooklyn Center with ridiculously delicious beers including one that combines the power of coffee with the soothiness of...beer...

It's a VERY small building for a brewery, so the big benefit is to first sample loads of great beer!

The next big benefit is to hear Omar, the founder, tell a fantastic story about starting the company. A bonus for us was that his dad, with his lovely Egyptian accent, was there to tease Omar and make us sing 'Happy Birthday' to anyone with a birthday that week. You could tell he was a proud papa, or else he wouldn't be up on the platform!

Omar's story is really about a hobby that turns into a job-creating local business. Business students should write a case study on Surlys if it hasn't been done already. The ups are great and the downs are hilarious. Remember, we've all had a lot of beer and Omar has clearly polished his story into a wonderful one-man show – with beer!

I particularly enjoyed the story about how he rented a cement cutter and used it pretty much the entire time he had it, not only wearing out the thing to cut a drainage ditch into the building, but accidentally striking a water main that wasn't correctly marked on the building's plans.

About one month later, my coworker Mr. Bill and I went on a tour of the old Grain Belt Brewery! This is the main building in our large office complex on the river. It hasn't been a brewery in a very long time and was derelict for decades before an architecture firm converted it to office space. It is gorgeous! I'll just stick a bunch of photos below, but comments on what I can remember.

The lovely staircase in the center!

The top from the deck.

Mr. Bill near the gangplank where the vats used to sit.

The notes on the masonry, including 'flagstone.'

Downtown views from the deck.

The library in the building for the business. Not to be confused with the public library on the brewery complex!

These bricks have worn down after nearly a century of grain flowing through the grain elevator, leaving only the mortar behind.

One great part of the tour was when the guide, who is part of the firm, mentioned the difficulty in filling in the drainage ditch in the cement floor of the building. No one there knew why I started laughing so hard.

Bob vs The Furminator

2010-08-22T18:03:00.000-07:00

That's My Dog! Well, not MY dog, but I'm her human

2010-07-27T19:20:00.000-07:00

It's summertime in MPLS and that means thunderstorms! Macy, age 10, 60 lbs, gets very clingy...

An Update on Nerd Minny Farms

2010-07-18T16:25:00.000-07:00

Several weeks ago I transplanted the seedlings (grown in my bathroom that was doubling as a hothouse; quite disgusting after a while) into the raised bed, only the bed should have been raised a bit more. Oh well!
Aww, seeing this reminds me of how clean and orderly things were at the time before the zucchini plant started doing its thing. Thankfully the other transplants are also doing nicely, and marigold petals are great on rice!

One day after work I noticed these two little guys in Landlady Lisa's garden patch:

I didn't do anything about them although I might have killed them by standing over them and screaming, 'Oh my gawd you are so fucking cute!' a few times. Typically the neighborhood's biggest pest AND pest controller are loose pit bulls, so these particular baby bunnies aren't likely to be seen around the garden again. They are most likely already on the big grassy roundabout in the sky...

Starling 3G

2010-06-21T13:29:00.000-07:00

While I was in Nerd Minny making spreadsheets and watching World Cup matches, my dad, brother, and nephews gathered in California for Fathers Day. Aren't they cute?

Highlights from USA v England...in Legos

2010-06-14T16:45:00.000-07:00

This remarkable little video is from the folks at http://www.legofussball.eu, perfectly re-enacting the highlights from Saturday's match between the United States and England!

1776...1812...1950...2010!

2010-06-13T15:06:00.000-07:00

As FIFA was hoping, I'm an American who became interested in World Cup when it was in the United States. Years later in London I was a huge fan of England and remember we kinda tied my pregnant roommate Maz to a chair so she'd stop hurting herself wanting to jump up an down cheering. A few weeks after that I was in Gran Canaria, Spain, in an expat bar watching them lose and when a drunken Scot called my boyfriend and I a bunch of names afterward, I said nonchalantly, 'I'm an American, you dumbshit...'

Now, Saturday was an exciting but almost dreaded day for me! I still support England, but I LOVE the players on the USA side! They hadn't played in a World Cup match in 60 years! Friends and family are in turmoil! Old roommate Neil and his wife Kristin are split over it (you know what I mean...)! At least Poppy was on the side of her daddy:

And my nephews? Well, I don't think they're aware of what's going on! But at least like me they're into gardening and soy milk.

Back here in Minnesota after yoga, I got this brilliant voicemail from my landlady:

SF Parking v. MPLS Passive Aggressiveness

2010-06-07T16:28:00.000-07:00

Okay, the other week I drove to Bryant Lake Bowl (good nachos) for Rockstar Storytellers: Sci-Fi & Fantasy which not only appealed to the geek in me but even had people I know starring in it.

After years of driving and parking in San Francisco, I'm going to take the first free space that my tiny Yaris hatchback can fit into, especially if it's quite close to my destination! So I thought to photograph my expertly-parked car behind a SUV with PLENTY of room in front of it for leaving its space:

Hours later after having a blast at the show, I found this postcard under my windshield wiper:

I don't know where this person learned punctuation but what has definitely been learned is the passive aggressive style of the Minnesotan. I laughed the laugh that kept me from crying...

'It's the Cheese?' 'Oh, you betcha!'

2010-06-04T13:49:00.000-07:00

After work today (summer hours, yeah!) I went to the Lunds in NE Minny to pick up a few groceries. Little did I know I was there in time for a ceremonial cheese delivery!

The Beemster Graskaas cheese wheels were carried in on special beams strapped on to two guys each. They parked it by the popular little Beemster cow that all the kids try to climb on!

Now the subject line comes from a 90s commercial for Real California Cheese, and I'm sorry if you found this blarg entry hoping to find it. I can't find it either! It drives me nuts! Here's how it goes:

Two California border patrol guys have stopped a Wisconsin family in a station wagon, asking their purpose for entering the state. They say things such as, 'Uh, Golden Gate?' and are let go. One agent turns to the other and asks, 'They here for the cheese?' and the other agent says in a heavy Wisconsin accent, 'Oh, you betcha!'

Now why am I obsessed with it? The guy who said, 'Oh, you betcha!' was Korean American! My college roommate, Kim, is half-Korean, half-Cheesehead, so we'd be rolling on the floor from the advert. And who was the guy? Daniel Dae-Kim! So if you have a video clip, an image from it, or anything, please let me know! I keep telling the locals here about it and they don't believe me!!!

Plastic Bag Crafts

2010-06-02T19:05:00.000-07:00

Clearly I've been in the Midwest winters too long because I found myself creating stuff out of plastic bags! Help!

It started when I found this frame at the Salvation Army:

I cut up strips of plastic bags and started winding them around the teeth and then through the strips in a weaving manner:

I cut free the mat and secured the ends with a simple tie:

Then tied the finished mats together by the ends with knots until tight enough:

So here is the first basket, currently storing odds & ends with dreams of being a planter!

And although it's far from glamorous, I do get nice compliments regarding this simple handbag using braided plastic for the strap:

NYC Busman's Holiday

2010-05-30T12:37:00.000-07:00

Earlier this month I went to New York for Sales Conference and then a few days of my own to relax. Sales Conference was great because this time it was at the Desmund Tutu Center that was gorgeous and had fantastic food and the best conference room one could ask for. The place constantly reminded me of USF's Lone Mountain so I felt right at home. I also got out for dinner with the folks at Bellevue Literary Press to celebrate their book, Tinkers by Paul Harding, winning the Pulitzer Prize. Why haven't I blarged in a while? That's why! Too busy losing weight on the 'Tinkers' diet! There was also an excellent cocktail party in a place that overlooked the USS Hornet so I was happy, and not just from the gin & tonics!

After Sales Conference I went to my favorite old hotel, The Pickwick Arms. What? Oh yeah, for the last few years it's been The Pod Hotel, famous for having the smallest rooms in Manhattan. I love the place, and wow, the neighborhood around it is totally different from when I first started going there in 2004.

I slept in on my first day of vacation, then ventured on south to Film Forum, seeing this bar sign along the way, which made me miss my dog, Macy Grey:

Now I LOVE Film Forum, and first went there years ago to see a restored print of Gojira, the original, Japanese version of Godzilla that you'd never see on TV.

I had seen Metropolis before as it's one of my favorite films, but recently a man in Argentina uncovered nearly a half-hour of the missing footage! When the footage would appear on the screen, others in the audience, including myself, were gasping and crying a little with happiness! And at the end of the film, as usual, I cried like a big baby.

After too much chicken parmigiana and too much wine at Mimi's Restaurant (another old favorite of mine!) I slept in AGAIN and then journeyed north to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to check out the American Woman exhibit. Here are two photos I took before I got in trouble:

Fortunately the Met offers this video clip of the exhibit so you don't feel TOO left out:

Now you're probably wondering why I say 'Busman's Holiday.' Well, when I wasn't out and about, I was sitting inside eating a bagel, looking up things to do, checking Facebook and Twitter and work email, reading a book, or shopping in bookstores, including Forbidden Planet with the awesome Vanessa and awesome Wei. We didn't need photos of that, now, did we?

Yarn!

2010-05-04T18:36:00.000-07:00

It's not exactly worthy of 'Yarn Bombing' but someone made a yarn...thingy on Broadway near the office:

Message to Arizona

2010-04-27T09:59:00.000-07:00

Hey Arizona: I doubt you'll ever ask me for my papers but I'll gladly show you any that's still stuck to my arse.

Nerd Minny Farms

2010-03-25T16:06:00.000-07:00

After Heather and Melissa experimented with a vegetable patch last year, my 18-month hiatus from gardening started ending. There I was, watering and weeding when Heather and Melissa weren't looking. Then, over the winter I read books such as The Urban Homestead and Independence Days. Now that the snow is off the yard (for now...) I went out and did some digging!

Mind you, I'm not following any of the books or websites to the letter, so don't follow me! I'm just improvising with the materials I have on hand. However, I seem to have planned ahead by spending the winter at Snap Fitness because I can't believe I did so much shoveling without getting tired. Yeah, weightlifting!

There was leftover chickenwire from last summer so I placed it at the bottom of the pit to deter some vermin...you know who you are...

I then added mulchy dead leaves and one kitty-litter bucketful of compost collected from Maison Faribault over the winter. It was frozen most of the time but I figure it will decompose faster now that it's in the pit.

Similar to Brown That Banana's charity work, here's a close-up of the compost that you can save and make for your computer's desktop image:

I added some more mulchy dead leaves and some of the dirt I dug up, minus all the rocks.

Now, for a raised bed in gardening you want some 2x4s, planks, nails, etc. But then, a friend said, 'Why? Just get a crappy old flat-pack bookcase off Craigslist and gut it!'

Genius! So Tuesday I found an odd sort of filing shelf with cardboard innards. It was conveniently discarded next to the dumpster by one of the buildings in my office complex. I carried it a few yards to my car and brought it home.

Yes, that is firewood in the box! I'm hoping it keeps the squirrels from stealing the compost before it's time to plant. We'll see...

The Great Activision Decathlon Cross Stitch!

2010-03-23T18:19:00.000-07:00

Growing up my brother loved playing Activision's 'Decathlon' on the Atari. I couldn't understand how he could just sit there and wiggle the joystick forever making a little man run around a track. Thrilling! He played it so much, keeping the top of the classic Atari joystick in the center of his palm, that when he got sick, a sort of fungus or whatever made a deep impression: a square with rounded corners...

So for his birthday I decided I'd make him a cross stitch image of this classic video game. I am a needlenerd so this part made sense...at the time. Now that I'm done, I feel like I've made the little man run around the track! At least to save my thumb from impressions I bought a thimble before it was too late.

To start I found a number of 'Decathlon' screenshots at AtariAge such as hurdles and high jump, two events that my brother competed in for high school and college.

The few-bit resolution of this game lends itself perfectly to counted cross stitch, so I simply counted out what I needed and plotted them in my Whitelines Wire A4 Squared Notebook. Yeah, that's right, I took a damaged sample from work. I couldn't help it! It's the perfect graphing paper for such projects!!!

After determining colors to use from my massive collection of cross stitch thread, I then took what I drew on the graphing paper and plugged them into a spreadsheet, allowing me to just copy and paste the parts that would be repetitive.

Months later, and months LATE (it was for my brother's birthday, after all), I stitched according to my printed pattern while watching TV or listening to The Archers or whatever. And behold!

A Free Cross Stitch 4 U & Your Digital Devices & Digital Vices

2010-03-21T15:17:00.000-07:00

Months late, I recently finished my brother's birthday gift and will blarg about it later. Meanwhile, I've made a free cross stitch pattern for anyone who finds this amusing enough to cross stitch on their own.

Instead of 'Think before you speak,' comes:

I obviously don't follow this advice myself, but it would be nice if I did.

$1K Book inspired by Stephen King

2010-02-19T11:01:00.000-08:00

Today at the office we got a copy of the Knowing Darkness (deluxe limited edition): Artists Inspired by Stephen King

It's one big MOFO! And it retails for $995.00 USA money. I took some photos and added a 12-inch ruler so you can get some perspective...

Happy Holidays!

2009-12-25T16:19:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving!

2009-11-26T13:51:00.000-08:00

BarkingMad

2009-11-19T19:45:00.000-08:00

I was at SIP this morning getting my bagel when I noticed the best cover ever! City Pages totally put The Onion to shame this week by PhotoShopping a certain congressional dingbat onto the cover of Going Rogue:

This reminded me that BarkingMad had been quite the feature at the Minnesota State Fair this year, especially in terms of seed art. Here she was completing some sort of unholy trinity but I'll skip the other two...for now:

Using hardware as art can be a bit backwoods but here it works perfectly:

This nutcase has been quoted for some incredibly insane stuff. No wonder the media loves her so much!

This is still my favorite from her:

Now, maybe it was the seed art plus all the deep-fried Spam bites, cheese curds, and a bucket from Martha's Sweet Cookie Jar that made me wonder, but for the second year running I swear she looks like this particular clown:
Good night, everybody! Don't have bad dreams!

Whose Leg Do I Have to Hump to Get a Dry Martini Around Here?

2009-11-01T15:17:00.000-08:00

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

From Broadway (Nerd Minny) to Branson (um, THE Branson)

2009-10-12T15:01:00.000-07:00

In early September I flew to Missouri to visit relatives! See, this is me with my maternal grandparents.

There is a great non-stop flight now from Minneapolis to Branson thanks to their new airport. Granted, the way they had to build it the thing looks like an aircraft carrier on some big waves!

I must have put on 5 lbs. with each meal my grandma made. Here's me with my giant taco-turned-burrito-turned-chimichanga:

I also visited my aunt and uncle's house and you can see the family resemblance. I manage to look like my mother's side AND my father's side:

This was when I casually explained to my young cousin what 'tea-bagging' means in San Francisco:

Now all the above photos were either taken by my Aunt Patti or, um, Branson for that airport promo. What did I take photos of? The dog! Like I don't have one at home.

Now Alick loves having his photo taken, but not video. Whatever. He's 13 years old so he'll do what he wants...

Two Great Things That Go Great Together

2009-09-27T14:17:00.000-07:00

Years ago in London I loved listening to 'Desert Island Discs' on BBC Radio 4. There was even an afternoon play that made fun of it that I would love to get my hands on.

Sadly, 'Desert Island Discs' was not available to hear online and I wasn't going to stay up late just to hear it live from my computer. I have a job, well, usually. And no way was I able to last until the programme repeated on Sunday.

But this week I hear that finally the show is now available on BBC's iPlayer! And who is going to be on it? Barry Manilow!

Listen here for your first taste, America: Desert Island Discs

5K in 20 Months!

2009-09-26T16:58:00.000-07:00

Remember those car adverts where drivers showed off their pickup truck and the location where it hit some 100,000-mile mark? Well, this is as close as I've gotten with my first car that was purchased as new from the dealer, my Toyota Yaris dubbed Guy Noir:

This happened on Wednesday and you'll see that it was just before 6 pm Central. Those in Minnesota who know me will get an extra laugh at exactly WHERE the 5,000 mark hit:

Welcome to the World, Poppy!

2009-09-23T16:09:00.001-07:00

Neil was my flatmate in San Francisco for a number of years and just before he moved in he had started dating Kristin, who coincidentally was in a class or two with me when we both went to USF. Exactly 10 years to the month (correct me if I'm wrong, Neil), Poppy is born! She is beautiful! Just like the the California state flower.

Sugarcoat this!

2009-09-20T19:42:00.000-07:00

In a recent post I mentioned buying some clever vinyl clings for my car to cover the scratches. It took a while thanks to weather conditions and my being lazy, but finally we have the results!

Sure, the sides don't match each other, but then neither do the scratches!

And as an added bonus, I will be able to figure out which black Toyota Yaris in the parking lots of Minneapolis is my Guy Noir because of the hippie leaves. Oh yeah...

Owen will get you!

2009-08-31T19:20:00.001-07:00

Owen will get you!, originally uploaded by Photos by Jim Starling.

What Day Is It? That's Right! Day One of MN State Fair!

2009-08-27T15:59:00.000-07:00

Big Day Out

2009-08-12T18:35:00.000-07:00

Saturday started out as a simple gathering at French Meadow for breakfast before a trip to the Museum of Russian Art. Unbeknown to me, there was a special exhibit on stamps! It was super-awesome and I fully recommend it. The detail is amazing once you check them out with a magnifying glass (provided). This is one of my favorites:

And this was part of a series that made me laugh at the timeliness of it all:

From snail mail art to email art! We then went shopping at Robot Love where I got some Sugarcoat vinyl decals to cover the scratches on my car. Don't drive back from the airport when you're REALLY sleepy, kids! Anyhoo, this is what I'm planning:

There was an apartments-tour of Blue, lunch at Bryant Lake Bowl, and some shopping at Cheapo and this vintage shop that I can only remember because I regret not buying a daisy-patterned swim cap (I have too much hair...):

We laughed at the name of this building:

And I always laugh at this. I've only seen one before in Istanbul!

Oh yeah, Martin and Heather made up the others in 'We.' I wasn't speaking royally or having this day out with Macy Gray the dog and Bob the cat.

We had dinner at Stella's where I had fish tacos that were almost dessert-like and got this sage advice:

Not long into my tacos did the tornado sirens begin. They sound exactly like the old air-raid siren in San Francisco, only these are, sadly, real. Thunder and lightning were going crazy over the north metro, but from where we were eating it was awesome, especially as Fleetwood Mac started up on the rooftop bar's loudspeakers.

That's right, it wasn't that one about thunder always happening when it's raining.

National Night Out

2009-08-12T18:19:00.000-07:00

Last Tuesday was National Night Out! Lisa (in stylish hat) brought out the Weber with brats and chicken.

Target sent over beach balls and an ice-breaker questionnaire, where you honestly ask your neighbors related to Prince, 'Which do you prefer, Target or Walmart?'

Macy loved the beach ball, really!

Me? I loved the beer, not supplied by Target as Minnesota liquor laws prohibit such sales.

Fortunately, Minnesota Law doesn't stop me from sharing beer with Macy...or does it?

New Kids in the Family

2009-07-29T17:56:00.000-07:00

I have a zillion second-cousins, but here are two of the newest and cutest:

Baby Owen is wacky!

2009-07-19T10:43:00.001-07:00

O_4072, originally uploaded by Photos by Jim Starling.

Photos from ALA 2009 in Chicago

2009-07-16T18:38:00.000-07:00

This wooden giraffe is gonna eat this wooden tree! What kind of crazy cannibalism do they want to put in the children's library?

YOU would say that this guy really loves his daughter and would thus carry her dolls on this trip. I'd say, I didn't seen any daughter that was his...

Twins? No idea. Double stroller? Hate those things. Extra book-totin' at the tradeshow? Hell's yeah!

The sun'll come out...tommorow...er, tomorrow...

Next time I am so getting a two-story booth like EBSCO, only with a slide.

This caterpillar is too stinking cute!!!

I would move into my local library if it had furniture like this. And if I didn't have a home...

Actually, these creeped me out:

Book tote bags that weren't actually free! That's sooooo weird!

Cute kids! On indoor playground equipment! With plush toys! Ouch! I just burst an ovary!

Minnesota Politics Questions Answered!

2009-07-06T09:40:00.001-07:00

I'm now forever grateful to the great David Carr for summing up some of the things I've learned about this state's politics. Phew!

Independence Days: Al Franken and the Odd Politics of Minnesota

This Blarg Entry is About Rhubarb!

2009-07-01T18:12:00.000-07:00

So I'm watching The American Experience episode about Garrison Keillor because I need to learn about Minnesota, right? And where is he but at some sort of rhubarb festival! I had a honey rhubarb muffin today from SIP and it was mighty good. I look forward to the airport where I can get a rhubarb crispy bar from French Meadow. I never really paid attention to rhubarb before, so now I'm making up for it.

and of course

Congratulations, Senator Franken!

2009-06-30T19:15:00.000-07:00

The Birthday Party

2009-06-24T18:15:00.000-07:00

I remember in elementary school we used to have a book that only had some crazy illustration and maybe one sentence for a caption. With it we would have to create a story based on the picture. When this book, The Birthday Party, arrived at work, I totally wanted to do that again.

However, I'm incredibly lazy, so here is a great video of the photographer discussing the book. Be sure to watch it!

Happy 40th Buzz, and Thanks!

2009-06-23T19:16:00.000-07:00

Making of Buzz Aldrin's Rocket Experience w/ Snoop Dogg and Talib Kweli from Buzz Aldrin

Party Night in Wisconsin

2009-06-23T18:30:00.000-07:00

All Hail the Nerd in Chief...

2009-06-22T19:41:00.000-07:00

Breakin' the Law, Learnin' to Draw!

2009-06-22T16:31:00.001-07:00

I've had this 'Drawing on the Dark Side of the Mind' book for nearly 10 years and after finally getting all the necessary supplies by stealing from grad school and two different jobs, oh, and one job interview, and then an art supply store where I should have started my thievery in the first place, I'm ready to begin with the first lesson!

The first thing one has to do is draw a 'pre-instruction self portrait' and here are examples from the book:

And here was my first attempt. I look like a hardened butch at a women's correctional facility! Don't fuck with me or I'll cut you!

Weirdly I did a great job with my right eye.

No need, doctors out there, I'm already medicated...

Quick Book Reviews #2

2009-06-21T14:38:00.000-07:00

A great little paperback to take with you and sneak peeks at in downtime. These little sentences, paragraphs, etc. are ones you wish you'd written yourself, and no doubt falsely remember some of them as your own as you get older.

Ugh! At least 'Oldboy' had some good fight scenes...

It breaks your heart but manages to put it back together again while you finish the wonderful story.

This is a play that would get teen boys into acting. Drinking, smoking, swearing, playing poker, all with Irish accents. A great way to retell an old story, to boot.

Colombo would have nailed that mystery in, like, seconds. 'And just one more thing...My wife likes to read up on nautical stuff and she tells me about it and so...

BEA in NYC

2009-06-05T08:33:00.000-07:00

Please Save California!

2009-05-28T19:03:00.000-07:00

If you're in the Fresno area, please attend! Thank you.

Love from California to Minnesota in Real Time

2009-05-18T19:20:00.000-07:00

Gotta love Skype:

If you haven't seen Quimby the Mouse...

2009-05-18T19:13:00.000-07:00

Quimby The Mouse from This American Life on Vimeo.

Breakfast at Chateau Gundam, or Robots Do Like Us!

2009-05-14T19:26:00.000-07:00

While in San Francisco my gracious hosts would command their robots to serve me!

In fact, their coffee maker (just like the one Walter Bishop recently struggled with on Fringe -- and do watch his 'deep thoughts' featurettes) combines coffee AND entertainment!

Mark and Julie are good to their robots, unlike some people living off Geary Blvd...

Bachelorette Party (?) at the Vintage Press

2009-05-13T17:54:00.000-07:00

A few Fridays back on my short holiday, I awoke realizing that I missed picking up my rental car! Thankfully I managed to get one at SFO, then make that mad drive down the Central Valley. Thankfully I made it up to Three Rivers in time to clean up and drive back down to Visalia for Tiffani Yamamoto's bachelorette party.

I'm the one not showing teeth! No one told me!

The neon necklace gave me a nasty rash. I didn't expect a rash from a party at the VP.

I can't remember what this cake was but it's too good not to post.

I didn't eat this strawberry shortcake but I should have...

...Because the bride was porking out on my dessert when I wasn't looking!

We tried to get her drinking but typical health nut chomped down on the fruit parts of the drink.

At least she put on her tiara and was doing weird things to show off her fancy manicure.

And at least I remembered to film the blinking bit:

A night on the town (er, at least downtown Visalia) isn't complete without a trip to the legendary Taylor's Hot Dogs!

As you see here, we're all wearing our Hottie Whistles! They're like rape whistles only they mean the opposite, I think. I didn't try it. I gave it to Tom at work instead to use for fire drills.

Nice Media Hit for One of Our Books...

2009-05-07T09:17:00.000-07:00

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Star(ling) Trek 4: The Voyage Home

2009-05-05T18:50:00.000-07:00

I've been living in major metropolitan areas since 1994 but this was my first drive home (not train) since I started blarging! To get home from just about anywhere else in the world you need to take I-5:
What do we keep under tarps and old tires? Cow poo!

And here's some hay heading off to be a.) milk b.) beef c.) poo or d.) all of the above. Trick question! You don't get milk AND beef from the same type of cow. That's nasty. Just play it safe and pick c.

P-R-O...D-U-C...E-R-S spells Producers... What? You don't know the song? Git.

This new 'Old West' town on the northbound side of HWY 99 made me do more than a double take and nearly crash the rental trying to photograph it. That's why I'm posting it:
In Exeter we have an overpass for an orange grove!

This rodeo is awesome. My dad took me once when I was a moody pre-teen and I still regret being a pain. And I miss the brilliant purple cowgirl hat I got there. I could totally use it now.
See the orange? They used to be all over the highways of Central California. Funny enough, this one in Lemon Cove (yeah, ironic, shut up) was boarded up for most of my life. Thankfully someone has restored it.

This is a bit out of sequence, but I thought I'd end this post on tackiness with a bit of crack I saw when entering Visalia. Go fig.

There's Gotta Be a Term for It!

2009-05-04T18:26:00.000-07:00

Eletronic/mechanical/flimflamic-y gizmos always start various tunes in my head, increasingly as I seem to be getting dumber and easily distracted. The noises on the old SF Muni buses, the HP inkjet from college, the copier function on the Kiyocera at work.

Someone has the same problem, I suppose, only made something of it!

See bd594 on YouTube for which gadgets are used to perform this rendition of Queen's 'Bohemian Rhapsody.'

Vacation Photos!

2009-05-03T14:32:00.000-07:00

It has been said that those we hate for no real reason typically have a characteristic that we fear we have ourselves. This is commonly expressed about homophobes and 'locals.' Well, I'm in the second category, and that's why I'm such a crap tourist!

And now, on this trip, I was a tourist in my old home towns! The horror!

I arrived at SFO on a Wednesday afternoon. Since my gracious hosts were still at work/school, I killed time with a pint and a Caesar salad at my favorite downtown pub, Johnny Foleys, watching both a Giants game (live) and a Man Utd match (not so live). I lugged my massive suitcase onto Muni and headed off to the Richmond District where I used to live when I went to USF.

Behind a wire fence I noticed this awesome bike rack:

It turns out the building sporting it was the new Richmond branch of the SFPL, opening this month. If you're in the neighborhood, check it out:

When a tourist out of the touristic spots, the only place to use a bathroom, as I learned in England, is the pub! So I went off to Clement where I knew I could use the toilet at The Bitter End, where I was also served an Anchor Steam and entertained:

Drunkle copy editors, gotta love'em!

After a delightful jet-lagged dinner at King of Thai with my gracious hosts, I retired to their deadly comfortable futon in the living room and slept till million o'clock. I went out and hit the shops of Clement, which has an unofficial name of 'New Chinatown' and 'Little Russia,' well, at least by me! I checked out the local bookshops (Consortium was well represented on the shelves!) and spent a little too freely. I got a coffee and bagel at Toy Boat Cafe with their excellent toy collection (obviously) and to Fabrix which is indeed a fabric store but guaranteed to have the good crazy stuff for needle nerds. Here's a picture of one of the button bins if you want a cool wallpaper for your computer:

I then hit all the cheap Chinatown shops for stuff I haven't found in Minnesota. Where were these padded undies after I broke my butt?!?!

Later that night I went to The Red Devil Lounge to watch Heathrow perform their last gig under that name. They aren't splitting; never fear! They just have a little name rights issue with a certain airport.

And to dash everyone's hopes of making a funny joke, the backup name will not be Gatwick...

No Kids Meal Prize, but At Least 2 Pulitzer Prizes!

2009-04-20T13:07:00.000-07:00

Someone must be celebrating 4/20 in the Keg House because I had my PBJ for brunch and was craving a BK Kids Meal. No such luck. The lady at Burger King told me that because of this advert their particular restaurant was out of kids meal toys and even the smaller food packaging:

Thankfully I returned to work and was soon notified that two books we distribute won Pulitzer Prizes today: Ruined for Drama and The Shadow of Sirius for Poetry.

Yeah! We be dripping in Pulitzers, beyotch!

'Green' Marketing

2009-04-19T12:08:00.001-07:00

I was checking email and found this little advert from Coca-Cola:

Earth Day is a great time to celebrate the many wonders of the world—like cool, crisp refreshing water. In honor of Mother Nature, you can earn Double Points with DASANI.

April 20th through the 30th, enjoy any 12-pack of DASANI*—then enter your codes to boost your balance with Double Points—it's a great way to enjoy Earth Day.

Hold on...isn't bottle water notoriously BAD for the environment? Even in an article evaluating the 'greenness' of stainless steel water bottles still concede that they are at least WAY better than two 12-packs plus two individual Dasani products.

My guess is that Coca-Cola no longer feels the bitch-slaps of Mother Earth to notice the difference.

It's Spring! Pull down your pants! Part 2

2009-04-08T16:46:00.001-07:00

Minnesota Bargains, California Box Offices

2009-04-05T11:18:00.000-07:00

I bought this button at the Minnesota State Fair and boy am I getting my money's worth!

It only cost me $5 and Norm Coleman's reputation! The guys at my local are still talking about Coleman's 'betrayal' (switching parties) and that shit advert that showed Franken flipping out (he was actually doing an impersonation of beloved and fallen comrade Paul Wellstone as you'll see below).

Meanwhile, some governors in this country need to (for once) follow the example of my home state's governor! Take the bloody stimulus money! My old Governator doesn't turn down money and I have proof:

BTW: Apparently this was filmed in Minnesota. Go figure!

Haunting Bombay

2009-04-01T10:18:00.000-07:00

All book adverts should be this good! And the books, too!

Exclusive Jonas & Brothers Interview

2009-03-29T15:20:00.000-07:00

What, were you thinking this was something else?

The Quest for (realistic) Fire

2009-03-28T09:51:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I took some of the ladies from work to my favorite store in Minneapolis: The Salvation Army's Target As Is store! My favorite part is still upstairs, but the ladies were new to the place and we only had time for downstairs. And anyway, it was downstairs where I found this awesome battery-operated toy campfire...with spit!

It's Spring! Pull down your pants!

2009-03-26T19:55:00.000-07:00

Another Wild Night in Minnesota...

2009-03-25T19:56:00.000-07:00

Natasha Blackburn

2009-03-23T19:01:00.001-07:00

Help Boudewijn Help St. Baldrick's Help Kids!

2009-03-08T14:33:00.000-07:00

Oakland's favorite Dutch Boy Boudewijn is shaving the hair off of his head and chin (he didn't say if there was anywhere else...) to support St. Baldrick's.

Donate a few coins by March 13, 2009 to help him meet his fundraising goal! And if this blargpost is too olde, donate to some other sucka!

Also, you can cheer Boudewijn on at Emeryville, CA on March 13 as he loses his hair. See the link above for details!

Quick Book Reviews #1

2009-03-03T16:15:00.000-08:00

A great survey of unusual British comedy, especially found on TV and film. But Edwin, stay off the American animation! Not that writing about foreign animation is something I'm innocent of doing (cough, anime, cough)...

I'm with Bjork on this one.

Don't read it to impress yourself or others. Read it because it is hilarious!

After seeing the recent adaptation of 'The Gov't Inspector' I gave this a read and it was delightful! Goose!

This book explores media overconsumption via a discovered sort of 'enlightenment' via nose-picking! Set in the very-near future and footnoting our current lives, this clever novel will make you laugh, think, and pause before applying finger to nostril.

Not Just an Aunt, but a GREAT Aunt!

2009-02-24T16:11:00.000-08:00

I'm terrific with kids! I let them bounce on the bed!

It's Rude to Point, Part 3: Special Inaugural Edition!

2009-01-20T18:19:00.001-08:00

Happy MLK Day!

2009-01-19T10:13:00.000-08:00

I'm terrible at holidays but this one is pretty cool given the timing this year!

I thought for starters I'd mention how Dr. King has had a statue at Westminster Abbey since 1998. I first saw it in 2000 but only from the ground, so my friend and I thought the sculptor made it out to show Dr. King as rapping. We were about to ask an employee about this but we were interrupted by a less enlightened American asking him, "'Scuuuz me, whirz yer restrooom?" Thankfully at eye level the statue makes more sense.

Maybe it was playing on the clock radio while I was asleep or something, but I've had Nina Simone's 'Mississippi Goddam' in my head. If you've never heard it, download it or something, because it's worth it. Thankfully on YouTube this lady, Carole Alston, totally nails it and explains a bit about the song as well, particularly how relevant it still is.

Now I got up to take advantage of the weekday off, not having planned any sort of celebration participation. Apparently I could have gone to a massive pancake breakfast here with special guest Colin Powell. I'm not as keen on Powell as I was, oh, 8 years ago (win me back, Colin!), but Mississippi Goddam, I love pancakes!

And it turns out that there is an excellent program to make the day one of service. Nobody told this white girl! I'll have to check it out for next year, and hope that you do the same. Plus they list volunteer opportunities all over the US, all through the year.

But today I will have to be a bit lazy because I had only two hours of sleep and am already dreaming of dreaming in a nap. It's a stretch, but I did get the car washed! See...

One of the guys working at Park & Lake Car Wash pulled up the hoovers just for this photo. Thanks, Dude!

Now my own Guy Noir is nice and clean. That's right, 'guy noir.' I've made a bad joke, see? Someone shoot me, please...

HOURS LATER:

Oh shit! I just realized the horror of the last line! I was loading the dishwasher and realized Dr. King was shot! Now I really deserve it.

Adios Amigos

2009-01-18T15:29:00.000-08:00

I'm sick of the deaths in Gaza (Hamas and the current Israeli gov't need to just duke it out on a previously deserted island so that the civilians can, oh, LIVE. Chances are the island would be bigger than their current battleground) but I wanted to say personal goodbyes to a few people I never met but have known since childhood.

Patrick McGoohan:
I'd seen you in several things but of course The Prisoner affected me greatly. My dad introduced it to me at an early age so one of my strongest memories are those closing credits with the bicycle. We watched the pilot episode in a college class once (so that the professor could follow Chelsea in the FA Cup Final on his radio...you know who you are!) and a few at Viz during lunch breaks. Only recently I worked through all of the episodes in order including the finale, which unlike everyone else, is my favorite!

Ricardo Montalban:
Oh man, what were you NOT in? More than just cult classics such as Fantasy Island, Star Trek, and Planet of the Apes (yeah, this is my blog so shut up!), you were a delightful surprise when you guest-starred on other shows. Very recently I watched you in Border Incident which is one of the best noir films I've seen and had me shaking my head at what has changed and not changed in relations between the US and Mexico. Your acting made that film!

Sir John Mortimer:
Thanks for Rumpole of the Bailey, which I never understood as a small kid but watched it for how soothing it was. Now that I'm MUCH older I look forward to revisiting the series with a better grasp of the English language! And here's a picture of the one I personally refer to as 'She Who Must Be Obeyed:'

No River Landing for Me, Thank You Very Much

2009-01-17T19:43:00.000-08:00

I'm not terribly bright, so I thought it made sense to book my vacation flight immediately following my business trip. So, I started at the airport for Minneapolis where I was told I was waiting for the wrong flight.

I made it to Seattle/Tacoma's airport and managed to avoid hugging the Dirty Orca.

I returned a day later (again avoiding the Dirty Orca) and hopped on a Bombadier! Propeller planes are the best, especially in seat 7D (sit there and you'll know why, wink-wink). Here is an example of the plane at Portland's airport where I took advantage of the free wi-fi.
Then it was on to Redding, CA! The trip back was just the same only in reverse...and with a six-hour wait at Sea-Tac for a red-eye back to Minneapolis, eventually getting hugged by the Dirty Orca. Like I said, I'm not very bright.

Just to Church on Sundays, or Kiss My...

2009-01-16T20:07:00.000-08:00

Roughly one year ago I bought a new car, and today I hit 3,000 miles on the odometer! I can't believe I've driven that car so many miles, from the 10-minute commute five days a week to the big drives all the way to the airport in Bloomington once or twice. Maybe more than a few times to the big downtown Salvation Army store and to East Lake Street for Dr. Who club. And let's not forget the stretch down HWY 100 to St. Louis Park for some Trader Joe's, or down the road to Cub or Lunds after work. Then there's Target shopping, only I don't know which one because there are so many around here. I'll aim to go to one 10 minutes away but hey! there's a new one within 5 minutes. In celebration, I might even get the car, dubbed Guy Noir, a wash with the fancy hot air jets to keep it from, you know, sticking to the glacier running through Minneapolis.

Now, Where's My Hotdish?!?

2009-01-16T16:36:00.000-08:00

I'm back from vacation to the state of Northern California! Thank goodness, because it was something like 65 degrees, and that's in Fahrenheit! Crazy! Loads of people who shouldn't wear shorts were wearing even less! Thank goodness I'm back where everyone keeps their parkas on whilst taking a shower. That's right, Minnesota. And here's proof of the temperature this morning:

Holiday Cards for My Virtual Mantel

2008-12-26T18:28:00.000-08:00

I never send holiday cards because I'm cheap, lazy, and not interested in Christmas until someone surprises me with a present. I never think there is going to be one and boom! there it is. How embarrassing, and every year, too.

If only I would think to send online cards! They get better and better every year, and make me just as happy as when there's an envelope in the mailbox. It's the same idea yet different sentiment as online bills!

Here's one from Purvi & Gilles showing Santa Claus ski-jumping over my car before I have to brush off the snow and go to work:

Just like their brilliant Halloween party invitations, Mark & Julie combine their love of illustration and social commentary (all that blow still on the streets of San Francisco). Those oxen will also be served in October as part of the tradition of adding the year's Chinese zodiac animal in the non-veg ghoulash. I believe for year of the dragon they just use Spam:
Even a simple album cover from the past does the job, as this awesome one from Ashley at Saqi. I think he meant it in jest but I think it totally rocks and want to find a copy for myself:

Even if the album is fake (like this one, right? Right?) it still means that my Facebook Husband is thinking of me during the holidays:

And then from Emilie at Gryphon Press a nice animated card which has come a long way in, oh, the last decade or so of such things. You'll know what I mean when you see this. The initial creepiness wears off very quickly, at least for me! In all honesty this is one sweet card!

So no excuses for next year. I'll try to get started in September or something, which is probably around the next time I remember to update my blog.

Baby Owen is here!

2008-12-20T12:46:00.000-08:00

Just over one month ago I got another nephew, brother to Jonas and Andrew. He is gorgeous! Look at that chin! Within days he was having to style his hair, too.

She's Crafty. and She's Just My Type

2008-12-16T18:08:00.001-08:00

A few Fridays back I followed some people to the No Coast crafts fair. I can't remember the details but I'll make up for it later! For now, photos with lame captions!

First we ate in the food court at Midtown Global Market. I had excellent spicy chicken tacos and watched a toddler drum circle. It was just like I was back home in Berkeley!

These awesome underpants are suggestively for men only, but I nearly bought a pair for myself. It gets cold here and I bet I can learn to use the little hole!

In Minnesota new brides no longer receive State-Issued aprons, so Mrs. Bog-Nanny had to buy her own!

This is a shirt with a child's drawing stitched in by a lady who also made awesome cloth diapers (skull patterns, you get the idea). I think I convinced her to make larger ones for the increasing market of Baby Boomers with incontinence.

Wood! These painted carvings are of a naked white dude in need of his Xmas razor and a black dude who has won the 'Miss Barack Obama' pageant.

And like Dorothy's 'No place like home' crap, this short-lived piece of cubicle architecture was waiting for us back at work.

Pull the Laff-Trak & It's All Too Real for Me

2008-12-14T18:58:00.000-08:00

The writers of this sketch nailed it! I've been to A LOT of comic book conventions, so trust me, there is always an aisle or two that looks just like this, only with people of every color. Mind you, I get to say that because I was always in the fancy booths.

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Blomicon 2008

Charro Claus Helps Santa

2008-12-07T16:37:00.000-08:00

I'm sleepy, but I thought I'd post part of a great review to a book I enjoy, especially after all the stuff going on for the holidays:

“Even Santa Claus sends the jobs he is unable or unwilling to do to Mexico . . . in this colorful storybook by local author-illustrator Xavier Garza. . . . The simple South Texas Christmas tale is printed in both English and Spanish, allowing for several different bilingual reading opportunities. . . . Charro Claus is the perfect gift for the children of your Minute Men relatives.”—-San Antonio Current

Shameless Search Engine Attracting Verbage

2008-12-01T19:58:00.000-08:00

With icy roads and sidewalks today I remembered that in April I received a mystery present in the post.

A big pair of day-glo orange rubber strap-ons. Thanks!

I Love Mumbai

2008-11-27T11:47:00.001-08:00

I know they are only buildings, and the true horror is the murder and hostage-taking inside, but these places are like old friends in the hearts of Mumbaikars and those who have visited (such as myself) or have dreamed of seeing with their own eyes. I just thought I'd put photos of these places when I visited in August 2007. To see what is happening now, such as the fire over the Taj and the bloodshed inside the station, look elsewhere and more importantly, read what's going on.

Update: Suketu Mehta, who wrote the amazing 'Maximum City,' has this excellent contribution to the New York Times on 11/29.

It Tells a Story:

2008-11-11T11:33:00.000-08:00

Prez Predicktions!

2008-11-04T18:53:00.000-08:00

With football games, weather systems, grade schoolers, and all the other strange superstitions Americans use to divine elections, I forgot to mention that I too have an unusual way to predict the next president: Put a picture of my candidate on one window of the car, and see if it gets smashed.

It was the other window that got smashed! Awesome!

Granted, my car is a Japanese subcompact and I only need 11 gallons/month, so it could have just been Big Oil freaking out.